Voldemort and........?
by Imp
Summary: This is probably the weirdest one yet, and you probably won't understand this if you havn't read 'Snape and the Funny Guy' and 'Pettigrew and the Giant Slug' (if you don't have avery weird sense of humor then, this might not seem very funny to you)


  
Note: Uhhh, this is the craziest, weirdest thing I've written yet.  
It's funny and then stupid funny stupid etc.  
I don't know...Well please tell me what you think of when you're done.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Voldemort and certain kinds of persons  
  
  
  
Voldemort had just heard that a few of his Death Eaters had captured some people importent  
to Harry Potter and he was feeling rather pleased with himself, that is until HE appeared.  
"Snape?" Voldie said  
"Unfortunatly, yes" Snape said.  
"I thought you left." Voldmort muttered.  
At that moment Pettigrew came rushing (He was looking a little 'flat')  
"I thought you had left to." Voldemort said.  
  
Pettigrew looked up "Eeeeeek!!!" he squealed as he looked up at Voldie.  
"So where did you go after you killed my pet." Voldemort said, looking mildly annoyed.  
Pettigrew looked around, then looked back up at Voldemort and promptly fainted.  
Snape had got a bottle of nail polish out of his pocket and was proceding to paint strange pictures   
on Voldmort's wall.   
After Pettigrew fainted Voldemort shifted his attention back to Snape...  
"What in the world do you think you're doing!!!!!!" Voldemort yelled.  
Snape looked up, annoyed "Painting on your wall." he said.  
  
Before Voldemort could respond, a kid probably about twenty ran into the room  
yelling "Help!! There is a maniac folllowing me trying to kill me, look   
he already cut my hand off!" the kid held his hand out, but there wasn't any hand.  
"Gross." Snape said.  
"Where's your hand?" Voldemort said.  
"It fell down an air shaft with my lightsaber." the kid said.  
"Is that the maniac?" Snape said.  
The kid turned around "Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!" he yelled.  
In the doorway stood a 7 foot tall man wearing black armor and a leather cape,  
his breathing was very loud.   
"Turn to the Dark-side Luke." he said.  
Luke(ya know, the kid) turned and ran.  
The tall guy with the leather cape and breathing problem followed.  
  
Snape turned back to Voldemort "Have you caught Harry Potter yet?" he asked,  
as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  
Voldemort ignored Snape's question "Where have you been," he sneered.   
"Why didn't you come when I called two months ago!"  
"I had a run in with a guy who...uhhhh...slowed me down." Snape said and went back to   
his painting.  
Lucius Malfoy entered, suddenly. Crabbe, Goyle and two other people who didn't  
look like they wanted to come followed him.  
  
Lucius Malfoy looked at Snape, he shook his head and kept walking, he dropped   
to his knees in front of Voldemort.  
"I have brought the prisoners, My Lord." Malfoy said.  
"Thank you Lucius, you are dismissed." Voldemort said.  
Malfoy got up and turned to go...  
"Oh, and Lucius?" Voldrmort said.  
Malfoy stopped "Yes, My lord?"  
"Take those Dunderheads with you." Voldemort said, gesturing at Crabbe and Goyle.  
"Yes, of course." Malfoy said.   
He walked out, Crabbe and Goyle following.  
  
Snape stopped painting long enough to look at the 'prisoners'.  
He was so surprised when he saw who the 'prisoners' were that he dropped his nail polish.  
The nail polish sprayed all over Pettigrew.  
Pettigrew slowly woke up, he looked around and saw the 'prisoners'.  
"What are they doing here!?!?!" Pettigrew squeaked. (Have you guessed who the 'prisoners' are yet?)  
"What does it look like, Idiot." Voldemort said.  
"Uuuuuhhhhhh...Eeeerrrrrrrr..." Pettigrew stopped abruptly and started laughing.  
His laugh sounded like a strange, squeaking hiccup.  
  
"Oh, hello Sirius, Remus. How are you doing today?" Pettigrew said sarcasticaly.  
"Fine, thank you." Lupin said, even though he didn't exactly look fine.  
Suddenly, out of nowhere Harry potter appeared.  
The first thing Harry saw was Sirius and Lupin.  
"Hi Sirius!" he said brightly. "Hi Professor Lupin!"  
Harry fished around in his pocket and pulled out his wand, he looked back  
at Lupin and Sirius, they were standing there looking like Voldemort was about to kill him or somthing.  
"Whats the matter?" he said  
"Look behind you, you idiot." Snape said.  
Harry turned around "Yikes." he said.  
Voldemort was standing behind him, wand raised.  
  
"@*#@**!!" Harry yelled, his wand started to tremble and shake.  
"Uh-oh I didn't know that was a spell." Harry said as he started backing away from Voldemort.  
Snape pulled a book out of his pocket and began to read.  
Voldemort's tower started to shake, Sirius transformed while no one was watching and Harry Potter   
dropped his wand and jumped out the window, Sirius tried to stop him but lost his balance because  
the tower was shaking so hard Lupin tried to grab Sirius but he also fell out the window,  
Pettigrew went over to the window because he wanted to see Harry, Lupin ans Sirius go SPLAT but he tripped  
over Snape's foot and fell out the window.  
  
And Snape sat peacefully reading his book.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer  
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker belong to LucasFilm.  
Voldie, Snape, Sirius, Lupin, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Harry and Pettigrew belong   
to J.K. Rowling.  
The nail polish belongs to me and Voldie's pet, naturally belongs to himself.   
  
  
Signed  
IMP 


End file.
